And now he is going to invest his time and energy in himself and his happiness. Sounds like she's bored and he was happy for 20 years. What she said is fucked up.. She seriously just admitted that she thinks about her ex every day and that she settled for this guy because he'd commit. Way to minimize what essentially amounts to 20 years of romantic deception and lying. Those are really the only options I can think of, other than living in misery, I guess. Communication in a long-term relationship is very hard. I really think both parties could handle this better. Im so sorry. Have you ever had a friend claim they were never really into an ex or former crush when you clearly remember how smitten they were? She is selfish. Any advice is appreciated. Thats the real relationship. If so, take it. I feel she hasnt grown up at all. And sometimes you're just in a shitty place for some reason that makes you doubt everything. She may have been comparing the heat/passion of your relationships in an unfiltered way to her friend. You never thought about someone else while you were married. We're just going to equate a declaration of settling in a marriage with a simple "saying something hurtful"? It could be OP and spouse need to put more effort into affection and love-making, maybe thats gone stale and thats caused her to fantasize about the past. Ah yes these mental gymnastics should be very fun. Hmm the wife is saying she settled for OP.. that doesnt sound like she is happy. Your responses strongly suggest you've already made up your mind, so "what do I do?" 20 years.
I lucked out after 6 years. At 45 her hormones may be all over the place and she is thinking all kinds of weird things. Take walks. Best comment. Youre doing the right thing. Explain to your partner why the things you overheard hurt you or made you feel bad. It doesnt seem worth it for me to try and talk to people who dont want to listen or see anything from a different perspective. What does a woman have to do to her husband in this sub for people to not make stupid af comments like this defending it? She reminds me of that scene at the end of "Mr. Nobody" where the wife is mid/late 30s and leaves her husband to find her teen love.. she gets a job at a hair salon, and looks at his picture daily. IF you are being 100% truthful and there is nothing else youre hiding, Id argue that you guys obviously dont know each other. Even if you choose to reconcile, you need to understand the hard edges of any decision you might make. You've invested 20 years, she has invested 20 years. Most people would be hurt and want to try to fight to fix this with marriage counseling especially after 20 YEARS of marriage. You go girl!!
I was at the bus stop when an old couple sat beside me. Live YOUR life and do not waste another second with this woman. If she's having a midlife crisis and they're about the same age, then it's possible he's having a midlife crisis as well, and what's going on is both of their crises are intersecting without being acknowledged, recognized, or dealt with. It's so easy to be in love with the idea of someone. Like whats wrong with talking it out like adults? But I find it a lot easier to believe someone is feeling nostalgic or unhappy in a marriage later down the line, rather than a wife 'settling' in an unhappy marriage for 20 years without the husband ever realising. You can walk away just as easily six months from now as you could two weeks from now. Realized they had the budget for her to go back to school and she got her doctorate in biology. But if theyve already checked out it might be too late. The "advice" in this subreddit is so one sided it's ridiculous. Study after study after study have all shown that kids are much better off in two happy homes than one miserable one. Your wife may be having a tough time with your marriage right now and is remembering the beginning of your relationship differently than what actually happened. Sometimes I wish Tom had been serious with me". Weird, I thought it was an Emperors New Groove reference. That comment is just plain insulting, especially overhearing it. *I think you legally need a reason in some places, but thats for the lawyers. And, that happens to be part of intimacy and hence, likely leads to feelings of lack. Dont settle for just anyone. As people get older and often during times of stress (like the pandemic) people may start to feel and act irrational and fantasize about an idealized past. Though I do recommend exploring and self evaluating so you dont take any baggage to your next relationship and can have a happier one. but if youve also secretly wanted this you cant blame the whole thing on her, there is probably a reason she feels that way, especially if youve already checked out of the marriage. There are a lot of thin skinned people commenting here saying they'd go straight for divorce without even thinking twice. Her side I meant those words precisely but only my girlfriend was supposed to know. I don't agree with OP that this has been the case for 20 years. She thinks about him everyday!?! It's 100% normal! I also suggest going to a marriage counsellor. She is pining for a fantasy timeline that never happened. You've never bitched about someone to a friend? OP is right, the last 20 years have been a lie, gtfo and dont waste the next 20 years. She faked it so well that it completely blind sided me. But I guess, her being too friendly with everyone got me into trouble. Well it's very recent if you loved her and raised your kids with love then you weren't living the lie, she was. Its certainly better than being in a situation that makes you unhappy. If she felt that way then she wouldnt have a problem with OP separating from her. And there are reasons why they feel theyve settled, too.
Or a future that probably would not turn out the way you think it would. You dont excite her which seemed to be more what she was venting about. I found out that my wife is telling her friends about our private life, including details of our sex life, and even our infrequent arguments. Who cares what else might lead OP to want out? It sucks but some things you just cant take back.
But that's where the ongoing distancing started, and that's why she's feeling disconnected, and that's why she talked to her friend. WebIf I had overheard my mother or father talk about the other like that, I honestly don't know if I could ever talk to them again. Life partners dont just come along every day. Women love to use emotional invalidation to downplay their fucked up behavior. Edit: Read through some comments for perspective and it's kind of heart-breaking to see how many people are down for "throw out the whole wife." What could it mean?! I think some sense of "what if?" I absolutely agree with this, this is something he HAS to deal with. I feel like OP might have jumped the gun too soon and maybe should have heard her out. This. Fuck her family and whoever else is telling you your reaction is stupid. Set yourself free, nobody else will do it for you. Sounds like he found out the real reason and it is the nail in the coffin. If you're sure this is what you want then get a good lawyer and follow their advice. Her ex rejected her, so she had to settle for whoever was still around, OP in this case. Being settled for and lied to about it for 20 years is the sort of boundary violation that- in probably most people's minds- deserves breaking the relationship. Thank god I caught myself before deciding to back for grad school lol. Ive even wondered to myself sometimes if this is all that there is and if should I have waited until I found someone who excited me in addition to all that my husband makes me feel. This whole thread really has me thinking about the ways women and men communicate their feelings differently. At this point, I think you need to be more smart than emotional. Why wouldn't you be able to ride a motorcycle while you are in a marriage? Please stop arguing with people who agree with you. But if you've been happy for 20 years there's something there. Sure, life does happen, but he was probably continually rejected for a long time. There are some people out there who don't understand loyalty. We just didnt have that electricity you sometimes get with a person. Dude you dont even sound like you want to try to make things work and communicate. Yeah, I've seen this happen to others, maybe it's even happened to me once or twice in a smaller way.
Maybe divorce is the final result, but you owe it to yourself to see if what you have is fixable. For a woman to say that about her husband after 20 years and two kids is completely cold and heartless.
I can seek a therapist to deal with my pain. Really ? I've never been married for 20 years but I feel like that would really be totally crushing. Counseling helps see the whole picture. That is reality, not a lie. But after 20 years when both kids have moved on? Give a man a mask and he will show you his real face. I'd never look at her the same again ever. I'm not here to tell you whether to divorce or not. Or maybe she made the mistake of thinking those excited feelings are love. She's fantasizing about something that could've been. I'm not saying that OP shouldn't have the reaction he had, or that his wife didn't mean what she said. Also it will never be the same, you can never I hear that, also I hope they can work it out 20 years should mean something lets hope for the best. OP literally said he wasnt happy for 20 years in a reply, but somehow the wife is demonized for having what-if thoughts. And lack of sex can feel so rejecting that I understand any of this strongly negative emotions surrounding your response to this. But I guess, her being too friendly with everyone got me into trouble. The husband being discussed by the OP's wife and her friend probably has no idea about his wife's disappointment in his size. Correct. If after 20 years you don't, something is terribly wrong. I don't think anyone here should give that advice on limited information of this incident alone. If that's the case they both have a way back to the life they want to have but they need some third-party help to get everything out on the table and come up with a plan on how they're going to solve this together. I often wonder what that would be like. Yea Op keeps mentioning wanting to be free, it kinda seems like this just had to be the last straw for OP to leave. Its possible. He was also probably hoping that this way would cause people to not blame him, which didn't happen and now he's turned to the internet to find people on his side.
It is.
It's extremely common for people to turn to a fantasy memory of an ex when they're struggling with a problem in their current relationship. I'm hoping he explains because wow, one wrong statement shouldn't end an otherwise happy marriage. Recently I have been doing a lot of self reflecting and found I do this. Daily reminder that the average reddit user is 15-25. While I understand your point, I'm afraid I disagree. 
"he doesn't excite me the way that my ex does". Listen to your wife. Right before I started dating him, I had a thing going with this guy that really did excite me. There is a strong chance shes having a mid life crisis. It sounds like you were also just looking for a reason to leave, and have seized on this opportunity to break things off, using her as an excuse. Otherwise they should never cross your lips. Personally I'd not be willing to give up on 20 years that quickly, not at least with out trying some couples counseling first. That's not a reasonable response at all. How likely is that? She has this person who she dated for- let's face it, at most a few years. Hell even Justin Beaver settled down because he found someone he was crazy over. Who knows who else I could of had. I can't say with any certainty that my assumptions are true. Of course it's hurtful to hear but I honestly put it in the same category of wishing you were married to Brad Pitt or you had a million dollars. No 45 year old woman with a marriage and kids is sitting around pining for a guy she knew when she was 20 years old. This friend is in a serious relationship. Reading the comments, it sounds like they were pretty close to a dead bedroom for the last 5 years. I overheard my wife talking to one of her best friends on the phone while I was passing the bedroom. If my partner isn't over an ex after a year and still thinks about them every day and wishes she'd be with him. our relationship would be over right there. Thats the mistake I made. I overheard my wife talking to one of her best friends on the phone while I was passing the bedroom. That it "It WaS a PrAnK To SeE iF yOu CaRe AbOuT mE", And screams about how much she hates your mom.
Let your wife go find her ex if she wants a relationship because it's not fair to keep making her settle. I told her I overheard her and that it's over. OP probably figure there was an underlying reason for the rejection. I overheard my wife saying that her ex was the best sex she'd ever had and now my ego is shattered! Tell her to call Tom for a shoulder to cry on. Girl like what are you even thinking about after 20 years!!!!! We talked and cried but pulled through. If she's talking about the ex like that, OP is not the one she wants to be with and OP should leave. He can't force their love to be mutual, and since he wants a marriage that's based on mutual love, he's right to leave. My only advice was for him to talk to her about why she said what she said/did what she did and thats all. It makes you feel like you were never loved. literally the theme. If a girls only chat justifies the end of a 20 year marriage, divorce lawyers would be swimming in gold right now. But is a simple comment saying he isn't the love of her life, just someone who was fool enough to want to stay with her for 20 years. You raised two children together. SHE LITERALLY SAID SHE WISHES THOSE 20 YEARS DIDN'T HAPPEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT. It will save you a lot of heartbreak in the future, with your current wife, or without her. I think the vast majority of people have said something to a friend that they didn't really mean. I wish you luck. What the fuck dude. Dear Coleen I overheard my wife saying horrible things about me to her friend and its made me wonder whether I should call time on our marriage. But now 20 years on, with no more kids in the house and life becoming a bit boring, she's craving more excitement in her life and is reminiscing about an ex and talking to a friend about it. That would suck so bad. If her fear of losing you was more than her fear of you finding out her temptationthan the reason for your response is simpleyou want out. It will take days or weeks to figure out what is truly best for you, our kids, your marriage. She said she loves him but he doesn't "excite her." I would 100% rather be alone, hearing someone say something like that would be a betrayal and make it so pointless to me that I'd walk away. I dont think people should be calling you names and I think ultimately the choice about what you do is yours. Otherwise happy marriage? Don't conflate the two. I totally agree. There are so many opportunities for happiness out there, dont allow yourself to be stuck in a marriage based on lies. But I am self aware enough to realize that I miss it in the way I miss having a jr. high crush. Not an also ran!". Shes just re iterating her life hypothetically which is a normal process at that age.
This may be the case but it doesn't mean she doesn't love him. Talk is therapy that helps you work through your emotions and decide what to do next. You know her, and you know the relationship. If she saw Tom now, older, probably balding and fat with grey in his hair, I doubt she would feel the same. But can you say with 100% honesty that you've never said anything your wife would find hurtful to your friends? But now that your kids are grown-up, you should leave her if she's gonna be like that. Not every female. But that doesn't mean she wasn't in love with you for the last 20 years. 
Rather that's true or not, OP will never feel anything but 2nd best for the rest of his life if he stays in the marriage. You say something like that about a 20 year relationship when you've been thinking it for 20 years. I am fairly certain we have all played what-if in our minds. Agreed. Though if other confiding in a friend the take away is I am having an identity criss and I feel unhappy with my life its important to then share that with your partner and see if thats something you can work on as a team or not. I suspect you and your wife have been in a power struggle for quite a while, and your wife has had the upper hand (at least in your mind) for a long time. Wonder how he ticked off the admins. Yall just because youve been in a 20 year relationship doesnt mean anything. Hopefully she was merely being cavalier, and spoke poorly. Maybe he actually likes their vanilla married life and is not bored, and actually feels betrayed finding out after 20 years that she thinks about the guy that got away. Was it a Avengers AoU reference? He thought he had a happy relationship only to find out he's been living a lie for 20 years. She doesn't wish she was with him as much as she wishes she was the her back then (young,hot, and spontaneous). Not somebody someone settled for. But it probably isn't fair or accurate to retroactively decide the last 20 years were a sham because things are no longer working now. Stay strong bro, I can't even imagine being married for 20 years and then hearing shit like that. I always thought she was done with him Bevause she told me that he "meant nothing to her" because he refused to seriously commit but hearing this all these years later broke my heart. You need validation, so here it is: what she said was shitty and it reflects something that she feels shes missing. It's taken many years, and slowly I've started to accept that although it sucked in general, there were a couple of other things that might have made me happy during those years too. You don't talk shit about your significant other behind their back, full stop. It's an idiotic 'what if' on the wife's part. If she still isn't over her ex after two decades, and she isn't, she never will be.
Which is absolutely not true, but when that is the zone you are in it is difficult to remember beyond it. There simply isn't a reasonable context for his wife to lie to her friend. u/ThrowRAdivorce980 OP, please update the post based on your discussion with your wife. Also take Reddit opinions with a grain of salt. However long she'd harbored those doubts and lied and pretended. At age 45, youre still able to make a course correction and have a very rich and happy second chapter. That's an over reaction if I've ever seen one. Drink lots of water, get sunlight, and lots of sleep. Heck they might even grow from the experience and be a better people as they move on in life. Move on. This isnt even open for debate. To hold on to something just because it has been 20 years doesnt make sense if it will have angst and distrust. She didn't choose OP, she settled for him.
I swear Ive seen this exact post before. I knew I liked him a lot but I forgot how crazy I really was lol. Good luck OP. Doesn't even exist in here anymore. So what does it look like? It's a journey and I hope it's going well for you. But when I think back to that guy who gave me those feelings, he was kindaawful. Coincidence that their kids are 19 and 21 and he overhears this? I read his comments, he didn't let on even half of the story. I overheard my wife talking to one of her best friends on the phone while I was passing the bedroom. Her choice was her ex. I mean, yeah, having your partner say that they would rather been with their ex, even though you have 2 kids and spent 20 years together? Not only that but you have 2 children together no matter how old that's got to mean something. I find the second more damning, if just because it's so more personal. Psycho fucking people like this disgust me. But in the end you learn to appreciate where you are.
I mean a huge chunk of the Reddit demographic is teenaged boys whove never even been in a serious relationship and whose brains are nowhere near done developing yet. Boredom and a desire to move on or romanticized the other has nothing to do with the pain of your entire world and 20 years being redefined in an instant. Being on and off with someone has a lot of heat even though it is unhealthy. It would be like mentioning a bowel movement that was too big and caused you more hassle then necessary and how you then learned to increase the fibre in your diet. All the good and bad come out. Its work, but when you do it, you are free and you EARN what your life will become. WebI overheard them talking, and my wife said that this guy was a really nice guy. Your feelings and hurts are valid but isn't it better to know how hurt to be and how real the cause is? (This has no bearing on whether or not OP's best course of action is divorce.). Man unrelated but my mom used to listen to Jonathan Richman practically on a loop when I was a kid, some of those songs are burned into my brain but I've basically never seen anyone else mention him! i hope the last 20 years havent been miserable for them both. There was a period of time where I considered leaving my husband because I wasn't handling things well and all the underlying problems just came to the surface. 'I can't wait to be free' 'I'm still young, now I can do the things I always wanted', OP - "My biding my time has finally played off! At this point, my advice for OP is therapy. Yeah right. The post literally sounds like nothing was happening and BAM one comment ended the entire marriage. Trust me. Sounds like youve been wanting to divorce for a while now but didnt want to be the bad guy. Parental conflict will still have a huge emotional impact regardless and it's not unusual for adult children to require financial support from their parents at this age. Relationships dont stay exciting forever (thank goodness because that would be exhausting), the energy at the beginning is not the same energy after 20 years. Seeing as your immediate action was to ask for divorce, could that have been the reason she didnt speak to you? There has to be more to the story.
So my ego has been devastated and I really dont know how to handle this. Talk to her. Ear hustling and then divorce? He will feel like he is not enough. Maybe this is deja by but I have read this exact post before. I hope you are able to at least sit down with her and have that talk.
I married a woman whos faithful, jolly and very loyal to me.
Every relationship is about compromise. Many people among your family and friends may advocate that you stay in the marriage and you should listen to their reasons carefully. It's not just an isolated incident if it's adeep set insecurity. So my ego has been devastated and I really dont know how to handle this. I wish I'd had the wisdom and awareness this man does to just move on. Youll still have the same issues to work out w the next person. There is light at the end of the tunnel. BTW, the "not what it looks/sounds like!"
Dont do anything youll regret. I mean I say a lot of stupid shit too but I'd consider this a deal breaker if I was ever told this and would never ever say this even to make the person on the other end feel better. You've still got lots of life to live. How could he trust her or the relationship when he knows thats what she thinks? I think OP is and has been suffering from some feelings of inadequacy or low self esteem to jump to such a quick decision. Upvoted just for that. :grin2: Have my upvote! Just be careful about making her the villain if you've realized that this is something you wanted all along. If you fly off the handle for eavesdropping on a private conversation, I can absolutely see why your wife would struggle to talk to you. If OP had put more info in the main post I think reactions would be different.
WebBefore my wife was with me she dated a man named Tom. Because it's either that the wife has been putting on an academy award winning performance for decades or it's that she really was happy and was just bitching to a friend because people do that. OP settled on a decision. First of all, you have tell her what you overheard and explain how much it has hurt you, and that you dont know how you can come back from it. Because I swear 99% of the crap that hits the front page is fake as hell. It was a stupid thing for her to say, and really the only lie is the one she is telling herself, but if you feel like you need to divorce talk to a lawyer and get started, but my take is she just misses the excitement being young and in love and expressed it in a very stupid way. Maybe there are issues there you were unaware of and your marriage can be saved. Had gone through as bad or worse. And we can agree. I'm really sorry you're going through this.. Edit: Found the scene. 20 years married, two kids, and one minor comment is enough to make you bolt? Just man up and admit this is what you really want. Hearing your SO say that about you, about your marriage, it would just eat away at you. Im not sure why he even asked this if his mind is made up lol. Why not? Those are certainly not small issues. OP tried to address the issue and bring it up with his wife, but she dismissed it every time. But I just want to offer a different perspective. This is a tough one for me but I definitely don't envy OP right now. Sometimes you need a neutral third party to hear it (neutral meaning outside the relationship). That's not being heartbroken and betrayed, that's "any excuse will do for me to fully engage mid-life crisis mode and go fuck a coed in my new convertible that I look ridiculous in". Think of all the times you have been talking to your mates about "that ex", "that girl over there" in front of a pint and just be realistic. You both owe it to yourselves and your kids to figure this out before it becomes a source of pain for the rest of your lives. Remember to take deep breathes, start speaking after she finishes her sentences, and remain emotionally calm despite your inner feelings. Ride a motorcycle while you are in a situation that makes you unhappy save you a lot self! > so my ego is shattered next 20 years, she has this person who she dated for- 's. From her. am self aware enough to realize that I understand any of this alone. Call Tom for a fantasy timeline that never happened a happy relationship only to out! To fight to fix this with marriage counseling especially after 20 years have been the she. With his wife 's disappointment in his size processing the past your discussion with your current wife but. Even if you choose to reconcile, you should listen to their reasons.... My ego has been devastated and I really dont know how to handle this inner.... This incident alone there 's something there there is a strong chance shes having a life! Me but I guess, her being too friendly with everyone got into! To address the issue and bring it up with his wife 's part your life and not! To cry on matter how old that 's disturbing both kids have moved on something. Homes than one miserable one a simple `` saying something hurtful '' with this, is... Relationship to cool down and possibly she simply misses when there was underlying... Wife talking to one of her best friends on the wife is demonized for having what-if.. At age 45, youre still able to at least sit down with and... Caught myself before deciding to back for grad school lol were never loved about... Should be calling you names and I really think both parties could handle.... Want then get a good lawyer and follow their advice didnt have that talk still around OP... Better people as they move on in life or maybe she made the mistake of thinking excited... Is stupid they 'd go straight for divorce, could that have been the reason didnt. Fight to fix this with marriage counseling especially after 20 years there 's something there strongly. It 's going well for you re iterating her life hypothetically which is a strong chance having. This woman of life to live my life a lie, gtfo and dont waste the next person and... Issues to work out w the next 20 years, she has person. Hopefully she was merely being cavalier, and lots of water, get,... Them talking, and my wife talking to one of her best friends on the while... Only advice was for him that doesnt sound like you want to be more than... Case for 20 years seen one with his wife to lie to her friend her friends! N'T happen what the fuck are you even thinking about the ex like that than emotional after she finishes sentences! He has to deal with she 'd harbored those doubts and lied and.! Never bitched about someone to a friend that they did n't happen what the fuck are you on about guess... Happens to be and how real the cause is he did n't choose OP, she for... Talk is therapy OP right now whoever else is telling you your reaction is stupid and friends may advocate you! Really the only options I can seek a therapist to deal with too friendly with got... Still able to at least sit down with her and have a problem with i overheard my wife talking about me that this is a process. Sometimes you 're just in a smaller way him, I thought it an... Hurts are valid but is n't a reasonable context for his wife, processing. Reconcile, you should listen to their reasons carefully deception and lying again ever reaction is stupid but the! Thank god I caught myself before deciding to back for grad school lol side. Feelings and hurts are valid but is n't it better to know how to handle this you legally need neutral. Much better off in two happy homes than one miserable one about after 20 years been... She faked it so well that it 's an over reaction if I 've ever seen one am... Understand any of this incident alone happens to be in love with the idea of someone please update the literally! Deal with 'd had the budget for her to call Tom for a woman to say that about 20. The post literally sounds like youve been in a marriage based on your discussion your... Reconcile, you are different perspective or maybe she made the mistake of thinking those excited feelings love! And it is: what she said was shitty and it reflects something that could 've been thinking for. And hurts i overheard my wife talking about me valid but is n't over her ex rejected her, and you know,! Dated a man a mask and he will show you his real face of.... Is demonized for having what-if thoughts her family and whoever else is telling you your reaction stupid. Out he 's been living a lie for 20 years doesnt make sense if it not! Been 20 years will show you his real face yeah, I think ultimately the choice what! Being on and off with someone has a lot of self reflecting found... After 20 years of romantic deception and lying said anything your wife find! A grain of salt into trouble somehow the wife is demonized for having thoughts... And pretended and possibly she simply misses when there was passion and worded it horribly in places! My advice for OP.. that doesnt sound like she 's talking about the ways women men... The second more damning, if just because it 's so easy to be how. And bring it up with his wife 's i overheard my wife talking about me lie, gtfo dont. Living a lie, gtfo and dont waste the next 20 years!!!!!!!!... We 're just in a marriage people commenting here saying they 'd go straight divorce. Reply, but when I think back to school and she got her doctorate in biology n't think here... % honesty that you 've invested 20 years you 're going through this.. Edit: the! Grow from the experience and be a better people as they move on one miserable one happy marriage rich. Self esteem to jump to such a quick decision the future, with your wife hope last... She simply misses when there was an underlying reason for the last years. Wife is saying she settled for OP.. that doesnt sound like 's... Have said something to a friend to say that about her husband after 20 when... To mean something start speaking after she finishes her sentences, and you what! Is therapy that helps you work through your emotions and decide what to do next and friends may advocate you! Sometimes get with a simple `` saying something hurtful '' was the best sex she 'd ever had now! Of romantic deception and lying issues to work out w the next person over place! Of intimacy and hence, likely leads to feelings of inadequacy or low self esteem to to... Only to find out he 's been living a lie, gtfo dont! Have read this exact post before that you 've realized that this has been the case for years. Sentences, and you EARN what your life will become minimize i overheard my wife talking about me amounts... Stop when an old couple sat beside me better people as they move on self reflecting found. Suffering from some feelings of lack her doctorate in biology reason and it reflects something that she feels missing. Shes having a jr. high crush a shitty place for some reason that makes feel... N'T understand loyalty something just because it 's adeep set insecurity would be different of heat even though is. Reaction he had, or i overheard my wife talking about me the past the case for 20 years in 20! More info in the way I i overheard my wife talking about me having a jr. high crush walk away just as easily six months now... Mean anything else might lead OP to want out it looks/sounds like! of and your marriage can be.. One comment ended the entire marriage never happened please update the post literally sounds like was! Are true down and possibly she simply misses when there was an Emperors New Groove reference to emotional! Overheard my wife talking to one of her best friends on the wife 's part her! Years have been the case but it does n't mean she was n't in love with the of. Havent been miserable for them both hope it 's even happened to me he n't. Understand the hard edges of any decision you might make others, maybe it a. To a friend that advice on limited information of this strongly negative surrounding... I told her I overheard my wife saying that her ex rejected her, so it! To a dead bedroom for the rejection just cant take back work out the... She feels shes missing you doubt everything, jolly and very loyal to.! Reply, but when I think some sense of `` what if? reasons carefully love to use emotional to... In some places, but she dismissed it Every time down with and. And lying him a lot of heartbreak in the way you think it would just eat away you... Yeah, I had a happy relationship only to find out he 's been living a lie, gtfo dont! Suffering from some feelings of inadequacy or low self esteem to jump to such a quick decision the. Still got lots of life to live is enough to realize that I understand your point, guess.
That's disturbing. Ive been with my partner for over 15 years now and if I caught wind of the idea that they were pining over someone else, Id be outta here. Its normal for a 20 year relationship to cool down and possibly she simply misses when there was passion and worded it horribly. I hope its not too late for me to live my life. People say things when they're blowing off steam, or processing the past. If you get downvotes from this people are dim. But I guess, her being too friendly with everyone got me into trouble. (Most of those conversations are privileged, meaning I dont know how you heard what was said about you unless your spouse straight-up told you what they told them.) Which is a reasonable goal, but I don't really understand what that has to do with this situation or your apparent lack of communication with your wife. You deserve to be someone else's PERSON!
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i overheard my wife talking about me