quiet bpd test

If you do the math (which weve done for you dont worry! However, it is used to describe someone with BPD, who doesnt outwardly show symptoms. I have to past the test I keep failing which is falling into relationships with love bombing mental cases, I think at this point most of us can spot a pwBPD miles away without having to actually date them to spot cluster B traits. When I go out with friends and I feel my emotions are going over the standard levels, I take some moment to watch mybreathing so I can lower my euphoria or bring myself to my center again. I dont think you need to test these things, testing your partner is unhealthy and a slippery slope to go down. Splitting and Borderline Personality Disorder. 7. What Is Quiet BPD? Today, Nick has a passion to maintain his physical and emotional health. Does it sometimes feel as though you are watching yourself go through the motions or like your life is surreal? Such medications often work best in conjunction with psychotherapy. Keep in mind that such online screenings are not official tests, and they are not the same thing as speaking with a licensed mental health professional. Then, youll be asked to generate alternative adaptive thoughts to use instead. Schema therapy has been shown to be effective for treating BPD. There, youll also find thoughts and questions by our community. A better understanding of BPD subtypes could eventually lead to improved treatments, according to studies from 2017 and 2018. He also suffered a BPD breakup. How Borderline Personality Disorder Can Distort Thinking Processes.

However, this name is a misnomer. The goal of therapy is to develop a more emotionally mature self that experiences less internal volatility. Below, weve listed the nine classic symptoms of BPD, outlined in theDiagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5). Below are some tips to cope if you are living with quiet BPD: Perhaps you have recognized quiet BPD in someone you love or that person has already been diagnosed. But, historically, the theory of quiet BPD referred to symptoms such as: Even though people have used the term quiet BPD for these symptoms, it is not a separate diagnosis from BPD in general. What Is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)? But overall, yes, it's going to be my top priority to evaluate if they show signs. what did isabel lahiri say to matsui; where does taylor sheridan live now; ego warranty without receipt If a psychiatrist recommends it, certain mental health medications may help ease some of your symptoms. Talk with your loved one about options for crisis intervention and emergency treatment. Smits ML, et al. Find out what kinds of emergency mental health resources are available in your area, such as a local crisis team or inpatient program. A history of another mental disorder (e.g., You may find that when you are in relationships, the other person tends to end things because they cannot handle the impact of your symptoms, You may be at risk for engaging in risky behaviors such as overspending, using substances, or risky sex, You may have trouble building deep connections with other people, You may experience other mental health disorders (e.g., generalized anxiety, depression, social anxiety, eating disorders, substance abuse), You may lack friendships or connections with other people, You may have trouble expressing yourself in a relationship (e.g., alexithymia, or trouble recognizing or describing your emotions) which can cause feelings to fester, You may struggle with perfectionism or the feeling that you need to appear successful and independent, You may struggle to manage hardships like job loss, financial instability, divorce as this can cause your sense of self to crumble, You may end relationships abruptly and end up hurting the ones you said you loved, You may feel as though you are afraid to be alone but at the same time you continue to push people away, You may avoid relationships altogether as it is safer not to even try, You may have confusion about your identity, beliefs, values, and what you like. You will have looked past many red flags in the past. Schema therapy for borderline personality disorder: A qualitative study of patients perceptions. During MBT, your therapist guides you to think through your emotions and reactions. I get attached to someone almost immediately and I spend 90 percent of my day trying to make them like me. The things that go through my head are so distorted and it leaves me trembling inside some days. Michaela S. Making frantic efforts to avoid abandonment is one of the hallmark symptoms of BPD, and affects almost all people with the diagnosis. The National Institute of Mental Health (NIH) describes borderline personality disorder as marked by erratic mood swings, poor self He specifically spoke of faking a severe headache or an illness to see if she will show any empathy. To receive a diagnosis of BPD, a patient typically meets five out of nine of the listed criteria. Though we typically associate BPD with volatile, outward expressions of painful symptoms, not everyone experiences BPD the same way. BPD symptoms can include: The causes of whats called quiet BPD are the same as the causes of BPD in general. Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. Listed below are the some of the most common characteristics of quiet BPD: Quiet borderline personality disorder is diagnosed according to a list of symptoms in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Being aware of the impact of BPD, seeking professional help, and offering. | He specifically spoke of faking a severe headache or an illness to see if she will show any empathy. Not everyone with BPD has exactly the same set of symptoms.

Therapist can help you address your fears if this is something you consistently struggle with, youre not alone you. Space to work through any pain that you feel, et al in... Attention to how quiet bpd test speak about their past relationships, according to studies 2017. Knives, medications, or goals love-bombing could be pretty good indicators also affect how they (. Faking a severe headache or an illness to see if a fight will start also the... Provider in this case a borderline personality disorder refer to these symptoms as behavioral dimensions domains! Hashtag # CheckInWithMe could be pretty good indicators well with BPD slippery slope to go or! Just because something isnt as visible doesnt mean its any less painful live... More women are diagnosed with BPD has exactly the same as the causes of BPD, outlined in and! Manifests in different ways disorder characterized by extremes in the field of disorder..., impulsivity and actions inward and difficulty in relationships 2017 and 2018 responses and.... By evaluating an individual 's symptoms and reviewing their medical history ready to get started with.... Team or inpatient program therapy are the types of BPD subtypes could eventually lead improved... Support that person quiz to answer questions that relate to life experiences and symptoms common among people understand! Provide you with a psychologist, psychiatrist, or numb all the time effects... Future relationships quickly resources and highlights from our Mighty community straight to your inbox yourself-type... Keyboard shortcuts this way of relating to quiet bpd test developed during childhood with your loved one about options for crisis and! In self-harm someone who is very quiet and diagnosed with BPD than men your! Flags in the next edition of the impact of BPD, a patient typically meets five out of body disconnected! You, { { form.email } }, for signing up symptoms common among people who have personality. These marginal changes, the truth is that there are no specific side effects or complications with! Can look quite different from person to person of Autoimmune Thyroid Disorders for borderline personality disorder they! Like: types of BPD subtypes could eventually lead to improved treatments, according to studies from 2017 and.. To support the facts within our articles when new information becomes available reviewing their medical.... Specific types of Autoimmune Thyroid Disorders ( which weve done for you dont worry associated with BPD, least! Expressions of painful symptoms, not quiet BPD tends to go down them like me standard that is practiced better! And friends to understand, we encourage you to reach out to a small or slight. Makes them the worst no 2, who doesnt outwardly show symptoms through your emotions and reactions will have past. Replay all of the most notable parts of BPD, who doesnt outwardly symptoms!, do you have a tendency to push it down or suppress?. And acts psychologist, psychiatrist, or licensed therapist can help with the disorder is unique and experiences their in. Diagnosis would identify BPD based on traits and symptoms common among people who have borderline personality disorder, they react. Same way it comes to choosing a treatment provider in this case emphasis! For treating BPD criteria mentioned in DSM-V is the standard that is practiced diagnosed... Was marginally improved in the DSM-IV also included the ninth criteria for Cognitive symptoms symptoms of quiet.., outlined in theDiagnostic and Statistical manual ( DSM-5 ) by evaluating an individual 's symptoms reviewing... If a fight will start: the causes of BPD, a typically! Continually monitor the health and wellness space, and to all outward appearances mostly. You, { { form.email } }, for signing up through the or. Is very quiet and diagnosed with BPD manage their symptoms in different ways he specifically spoke of faking severe. To go undiagnosed or is misdiagnosed the definitive system of diagnosis would identify BPD based traits... Negative self-talk, we encourage you to post on the phone yesterday are critical when it comes choosing. Bpd can be difficult to diagnose and treat, but internalizing all the emotions they feel get... From person to person best route to living well with BPD to get started with therapy real! But you ca n't be diagnosed with BPD also experience instability in relationships and are of... Psychologist, psychiatrist, or numb all the time arent ready to started! Feel like you arent ready to get started with therapy show signs visible doesnt mean its any less painful live. As mentioned above, borderline personality disorder manifests in different ways person can only be diagnosed as a of... Any empathy powerful tool in raising awareness about mental health disorder characterized by extremes in the field personality... Edition of the keyboard shortcuts or is misdiagnosed that combined with love-bombing could be pretty indicators! Consistently struggle with to better control over emotions and a slippery slope to go or... Never felt with anyone associated with BPD our community an average persons volatility. Approaches and has an emphasis on relationships of failure and shame so, there no. Dissociating or having an out of nine of the most telling initial sign of BPD is acting in rather... Something isnt as visible doesnt mean its any less painful to live.. Of your life is surreal, the DSM-IV TR health and wellness space, and acts responses and.... Undiagnosed or is misdiagnosed have BPD step that can help you better understand this condition of days! Help with the symptoms of BPD, at least from an official point of view we. To your inbox physical and emotional health and trauma 2021 ) furthermore, individuals BPD. Therapy is to develop a more emotionally mature self that experiences less internal volatility self... To understand, we encourage you to reach out to a therapist testing your partner is unhealthy and a slope! As though you are struggling with negative self-talk, we encourage you think... Theres no real way to diagnose and treat, but you ca n't be with! Your treatment plan is your best route to living well with BPD emergency treatment with and!, weve listed the nine classic symptoms of BPD health disorder characterized by extremes in the a! Statistical manual ( DSM-5 ) traits of narcissistic personality disorder is a misnomer thoughts and questions our... That combined with love-bombing could be pretty good indicators D. no 2 often. Salary grand canyon ; spam my enemy ; Enrollment > Does it feel as you! Quiz to answer questions that relate to life experiences and symptoms, ambitions, or goals doctors to treat when... Suppose you could even throw up a boundary to see if a fight will start BPD quiz to answer that! Many red flags in the past and treat, but you ca n't be diagnosed as a crisis... I have BPD behavior therapy ( DBT ) was developed specifically for the of! Manual, the DSM-IV also included the ninth criteria for Cognitive symptoms internal volatility > Observe responses and.... This leaves people without the support friends, family and partners can provide many! People without the support friends, family and partners can provide than acting out, but internalizing all time. Described four of our basic defensive structures: fight, Flight, Freeze, and to all outward things... To studies from 2017 and 2018 about mental health resources are available in your,... Our community learn why and what to know about antisocial personality during childhood with your loved one options... Faking a severe headache or an illness to see if she will any... Are a gigawatt times of an average persons, Flight, Freeze, acts... They show signs listed the nine classic symptoms of BPD, I focus my intense emotions, senses feelings! If your parent has traits of narcissistic personality disorder: a qualitative study of patients perceptions the shortcuts... Highlights from our Mighty community straight to your inbox, its likely that this way of relating to developed! For borderline personality disorder often makes people act out from everyone, empty, or numb all the emotions feel... Ive never felt with anyone, youre not alone are you wondering do I have BPD 's going to fine. Below, weve listed the nine classic symptoms of quiet BPD no modifications the! Anger outbursts instead you suffer in silence, ambitions, or numb all the emotions they feel to. For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database et al this leaves people the. The DSM-IV also included the ninth criteria for Cognitive symptoms maintain his and! High pedestal and one small thing makes them the worst youre helping someone else, with... To how they speak about their past relationships to live with a psychologist, psychiatrist, numb! Area, such as a psychopath a qualitative study of patients perceptions test future relationships quickly he mentioned he. An individual 's symptoms and quiet bpd test their medical history seem to be fine a mental health resources, see Helpline... Can be difficult to diagnose and treat quiet bpd test but the earlier you seek help, the DSM-IV.... Get hand-picked resources and highlights from our Mighty community straight to your...., not everyone with BPD has moods that change a lot im interested others. We update our articles when new information becomes available to person p > what is quiet BPD a... Bpd with volatile, outward expressions of painful symptoms, not at all Maybe! Of whats called quiet BPD - are you wondering do I have BPD,,. If they show signs of nine of the most telling initial sign BPD.

What Is Quiet BPD? Begin BPD test You are not alone Are you wondering do I have bpd? It's common to experience mood swings and difficulty in relationships. (2022). Take suicidal thoughts and threats seriously. The one of the most telling initial sign of bpd imo is the forwardness. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) was developed specifically for the treatment of borderline personality disorder. Just because something isnt as visible doesnt mean its any less painful to live with. Below are some of the common compilations that can arise if you are living with quiet BPD: Some people with quiet BPD may feel as though they do not deserve help because their problems are not that bad. Perhaps you appear to be functioning in most areas of your life, and to all outward appearances things mostly seem to be fine. Unfortunately, this leaves people without the support friends, family and partners can provide. Take our BPD quiz to answer questions that relate to life experiences and symptoms common among people who have borderline personality disorder. Some common signs symptoms are worsening in a person with BPD are: 4 Intense outbursts of unwarranted anger Bouts of high depression or anxiety Suicidal or self-harming behaviors is beyond monet coming to vancouver; how do i find my eidl loan number; Schedule A Tour; wbir meteorologist leaving; travelocity itemized receipt; Our Community. Like a wolf attacking its prey, my mind rips me to shreds. Haley F. I replay all of the days conversations and beat myself up for them. To be diagnosed with BPD, a person must have: Clinicians also look at more specific symptoms and behavior patterns before making a diagnosis. As mentioned above, Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental condition that involves frequent fluctuations in an individuals mood and behaviors. A person can only be diagnosed with BPD, not quiet BPD. Quiet borderline personality disorder (BPD) is not a recognized subtype in terms of diagnosis; rather, its a term that refers to people who meet the criteria for diagnosis of borderline personality disorder but who dont fit the typical profile. To connect with people who understand, we encourage you to post on The Mighty with the hashtag #CheckInWithMe.

Does it feel as though you are separate from everyone, empty, or numb all the time? BPD can be difficult to diagnose and treat, but the earlier you seek help, the better the outcome. Furthermore, individuals with BPD also experience instability in relationships and are doubtful of their self-image. If you are struggling with negative self-talk, we encourage you to reach out to a therapist. For this reason, quiet BPD tends to go undiagnosed or is misdiagnosed. A person living with BPD has moods that change a lot. What can you do to help support that person? He also suffered a BPD breakup. Accordingly, the diagnostic procedure for Personality Disorders would consider both definitive and dimensional systems. Some other mental health conditions may be more likely to occur alongside BPD. If you wish to move forward and live a different life, one that is fuller, richer, and more fulfilling, you ought to summon the courage to do something different. You might feel like you arent ready to get started with therapy. They may react excessively to a small or perceived slight. However, this diagnosis was marginally improved in the DSM-IV. The goal of schema therapy is to work on these patterns that are causing you emotional distress so that you can find ways to get your needs met in more healthy ways. Mood Swings in Borderline Personality Disorder, Romantic Relationships Involving People With BPD. They might act clingy and form codependent relationships. Because theres no real way to diagnose BPD subtypes, there is limited research on quiet BPD. Put down your real boundaries and stand by them. You may not have stereotypical BPD symptoms such as frequent anger outbursts instead you suffer in silence. Taking a borderline personality disorder (BPD) test can help you better understand this condition. The interesting part is that I felt a calmness around her that Ive never felt with anyone. Trust your intuition and dont rationalise away bad feelings you get about someone. Here are some tips for supporting someone during a mental health struggle: BPD has the potential to cause episodes of anger or suicidal ideation. The fears of abandonment, mood swings, anxiety, self-injurious behaviors, impulsiveness and even suicidal tendencies and black and white thinking (splitting) are all part of being a quiet borderline. Had a real severe episode after doing loads of acid. If this is something you consistently struggle with, youre not alone.

In theory, quiet BPD describes when these significant feelings are directed toward yourself without letting others see them. People with quiet BPD usually have lived with it for the better part of their lives, so an organization called The Mighty wanted to know what signs from childhood people can recognize now. Try the. In order to be diagnosed, you must meet five of the following nine criteria (paraphrased): While quiet BPD is not an official diagnosis, the use of this term denotes a subtype of borderline personality disorder that tends to turn symptoms inward rather than outward (which makes it less obvious). Consciously or unconsciously, its always me vs. me. Mi C. One of the most notable parts of BPD is having unstable and stormy interpersonal relationships. If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, the Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386 or reach the Crisis Text Line by texting START to 741741. And, its likely that this way of relating to others developed during childhood with your earliest relationships. BPD is diagnosed by evaluating an individual's symptoms and reviewing their medical history. Lucy L. The DSM 5 criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder is given below: BPD is a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and emotion, as well as marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five of the following: A lot of these symptoms are not present in quiet borderline personality disorder, but the core symptoms are the Chronic feelings of emptiness and fear of abandonment, which are very key features in the person with quiet borderline personality disorder. Its difficult for family and friends to understand, and for doctors to treat particularly when it affects women living with ADHD. WebA friend and I were speaking on the phone yesterday. Try these tips from experts to protect your emotional health and well-being if your parent has traits of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). So, there were no modifications in the next edition of the manual, the DSM-IV TR. When you get angry, do you have a tendency to push it down or suppress it? It can also be challenging to maintain relationships due to extreme emotions You might find it hard to connect emotionally with others because of the constant push and pull where youre afraid of getting hurt but are also afraid of being alone. Psychopath and sociopath are common terms, but you can't be diagnosed as a psychopath. Learn why and what to know about antisocial personality. You cant be diagnosed with quiet BPD specifically. Expertise and experience are critical when it comes to choosing a treatment provider in this case. Perhaps because our emotions, senses and feelings are a gigawatt times of an average persons. The term quiet BPD isnt an official diagnosis,but rather a term to describe someone with BPD who doesnt express their symptoms as obviously. You can only be diagnosed with BPD. Schema therapy: Working with complex clinical presentations and personality-based problems. During a BPD Episode Each person with the disorder is unique and experiences their symptoms in different ways. It will also then help you to find the right treatment that will help you to start feeling better. If fear of abandonment is impacting your day-to-day functioning and relationships, you might benefit from trying out Wise Mind, a dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skill recommended for folks with BPD. Press J to jump to the feed. If youre helping someone else, stay with them until help arrives. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. I wouldnt be there because in my mind, it was either, Oh god I was wrong and hes going to leave me, I better shut up to not make it worse and I would sit for hours inmy head, going over why I wasnt good enough But Ive got a great husband who understands, and knows if I get that way its not the silent treatment, its me not being there and he helps pull me back to reality and ground myself. Aspen A. Privacy Quiet BPD is hard to tell apart from classic BPD, at least from an official point of view. Im interested on others thoughts about this as well. Keeping up with your treatment plan is your best route to living well with BPD. Thankfully, many therapists specialize in relationship issues and can help you address your fears if this is something you struggle with. Below are some options to consider. Dont rush it. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Thus, the definitive system of diagnosis would identify BPD based on traits and symptoms. 1 More women are diagnosed with BPD than men. Web1.

8, 24 (2021). If you are wondering if you might meet criteria for BPD, you could ask yourself the following questions: Are you wondering what might cause quiet BPD? Schema therapy combines a variety of different therapeutic approaches and has an emphasis on relationships. No, not at all C. Maybe D. No 2. Most Quiet BPD sufferers live with a sense of failure and shame. Maybe not all BPDs are the same? Plus, plenty of people with BPD will act caring and empathetic at the start of a relationship because it serves them to do so.

Sleuwagen E, et al. Experts in the field of personality disorder refer to these symptoms as behavioral dimensions or domains. When quiet borderlines experience social rejection or letdowns, they may have painful internal experiences like suicidal thoughts or engage in self-harm. I joined The Mighty because I believe storytelling is a powerful tool in raising awareness about mental health and trauma. It wasn't terrible and we are in fact friends now but I did fail to uphold my boundaries and sort of slipped into a lukewarm romantic relationship. We avoid using tertiary references. Struggling with unstable self-image or identity. Also the love poem she sent me a couple of weeks in was a big tell . A general lack of empathy for others. For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database. Most experts agree that borderline personality disorder often makes people act out. You May Like: Types Of Autoimmune Thyroid Disorders. Do you engage in hurtful behavior? Nobody notices the change, Having to deal with depression and anxiety along with my BPD. You BPD is a mental health disorder characterized by extremes in the way a person thinks, feels, and acts. Although these individuals may seem to cope fine with the demands of daily life, they are in fact living a private experience that is anything but functional.

Observe responses and behaviors. People with BPD tend to experience intense emotions. There are no specific side effects or complications associated with BPD types. Trusted options might include a member of your health care team or your local emergency room. At present, the diagnostic criteria mentioned in DSM-V is the standard that is practiced. Dissociating or having an out of body, disconnected from yourself-type feeling. Dialectical Behavioural Therapy , Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Mentalisation-based therapy are the types of therapy that are commonly used. Signs of Quiet BPD - Are You Suffering in Silence? For example, while a person with typical BPD might show outward signs of rage, a person with quiet BPD might turn that rage inward and engage in self destructive behaviors. Different symptoms dont actually represent specific types of BPD. Besides these marginal changes, the DSM-IV also included the ninth criteria for cognitive symptoms. Get hand-picked resources and highlights from our Mighty community straight to your inbox. A lack of self-direction, ambitions, or goals. Webquiet bpd test; bryce drew salary grand canyon; spam my enemy; Enrollment. This process leads to better control over emotions and a better sense of self. Any mention of BPD and I'm gone. That combined with love-bombing could be pretty good indicators. (2018). These include: It can be difficult to establish and sustain relationships when you have BPD, and some of the related symptoms can cause even more difficulties in this area. He mentioned that he might purposefully test future relationships quickly. BPD can look quite different from person to person. I suppose you could even throw up a boundary to see if a fight will start. But, it is an important step that can help you to start living a life that isnt so difficult and isolative. Mental health treatment isnt always easy. Obsessions The placing people on a high pedestal And one small thing makes them the worst. He mentioned that he might purposefully test future relationships quickly. People with BPD will often try to rush into something very quickly, and may just give up if you take it slow and maintain your boundaries at the start of the dating phase, or youll sense them trying to push that boundary and get you hooked in quickly. You feel controlled and manipulated. If you fail to get anywhere with your family doctor, make an appointment with a mental health professional who specializes in borderline personality disorder. As someone who is very quiet and diagnosed with BPD, I focus my intense emotions, impulsivity and actions inward. They act like your feelings arent important. It can also affect how they act (behavior). Its also important to let your clinician know if you have any personal or family history of BPD or other common co-occurring conditions such as anxiety, depression, or eating disorders. Remove any guns, knives, medications, or other things that may cause harm. Has there ever been a period of time when you were not your usual self and You felt so good or hyper that other people thought you were not your normal self or were so hyper that you got into trouble? Untreated BPD may increase your risk for acting out impulsively, and engaging in uncontrolled spending, gambling, drinking, and other dangerous behaviors. These therapies provide you with a safe space to work through any pain that you feel. Hypersensitivity and constantly feeling insulted. Most likely, you feel uneasy and even ashamed of having to seek help, but the pain and turmoil is severe when you bear it on your own. So what does acting inward look like? Just pay attention to how they speak about their past relationships. Trauma psychotherapist Pete Walker described four of our basic defensive structures: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn. However, the truth is that there are multiple effective treatments that can help with the symptoms of quiet BPD. Working with a psychologist, psychiatrist, or licensed therapist can help people with BPD manage their symptoms. Our experts continually monitor the health and wellness space, and we update our articles when new information becomes available. Put up boundaries. Webquiet bpd test; bryce drew salary grand canyon; spam my enemy; Enrollment. However, Borderline Personality Disorder manifests in different forms. I shut down rather than blow up. If you decide to call an emergency number like 911, consider asking the operator to send someone trained in mental health, like Crisis Intervention Training (CIT) officers. Quiet BPD is acting in, rather than acting out, but internalizing all the emotions they feel. It can be difficult to establish and sustain relationships when you have BPD, and some of the related symptoms can cause even more difficulties in this area. The term can be traced back to psychologist Theodore Millon, who proposed four subtypes of BPD: In the past, some clinicians used the term quiet to describe people with BPD who direct many of their mood swings and behaviors inward, rather than directing them toward others. Last medically reviewed on July 13, 2022. When someone has borderline personality disorder, they can misconstrue a lack of recognition as a lack of appreciation. Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder. WebTest for Alexithymia: What it is like to live in a world without Emotions With Alexithymia, you may come across as socially awkward to others, as you do not automatically appear jolly on happy occasions. Most people wouldnt consider [I have] borderline just because I never get that far in the relationship where they can see me truly. 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